Chicks & Dudes

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 19:30:47 GMT

I'm just going to say it. Most chicks are retarded. That's just how it is.

Now I like girls as much as the next guy. Alot of times are good times. And maybe I shouldn't say most chicks. Alot of chicks are retarded.

The ones that are retarded are the ones that try to give you "advice" or "insight" into your life without looking into their own.

The worst are the ex's that want to remain friends then tell you everything wrong with you under the guise of "honesty." Truth be told, they don't really want you to be their friend. They want to know that you're sitting around feeling bad and wishing you were with them and calling them to tell them they're perfect.

Maybe thats for some guys, but not for ole' Last Call.

You wanna know how I get over a chick? It's not by wasting time "healing from the hurt" it's by cutting her completely out of my life like she never even existed then getting out there and finding another chick. Prettier, nicer, sweeter, all that.

Does that make a person desperate? Or one with no standards? Well, fuck no. That's retarded thinking. That makes a person more likely to get over the friggin' psycho basket case you already had to deal with. You're never going to find the right girl unless you start, and continue, hacking through the jungle of psycho bitches that are out there desperately wanting to be the center of YOUR universe without wanting to make you there's.

It's hypocritcal, fucked up, and down right rude.

Besides I have standards: no fat chicks and no dirty sluts.

In all seriousness though, is it too much to ask for a chick to put as much into a relationship as you do? To work at it instead of wanting you to be one way while she goes out and does exactly what she doesn't want you to do?

That's not being an oppressive male, ladies. That's being fair.

I know that I'm a good guy and I put alot of effort into making things good for the girl. I try to give them the best of what I am. I deserve a girl thats gonna put the same effort into it, and if she doesn't? I fucking drop her, suck it up and move on.

I realize that sometimes people have bad days and it's not all gonna be wine and roses. You know how you get over those days? You sit down and talk about your problems like adults. You don't hurl insults designed to hurt the other person. You don't criticize the other person for having a problem. You especially don't do that after you tell them it's okay to speak up if something's bothering them.

If I'm doing something that bothers my girl, and she brings it up, you know what I do? I listen to her point of view, try to be understanding, share my own (letting her see where I'm coming from. Also doing so very nicely!), and try to come to a compromise. If a compromise can't be reached I drop whatever is bothering her. She's supposed to be the most important thing in your life right? Right. So you give a little and then you take a little. You know why? Because thats how partnerships are supposed to work and that's all a relationship is.

The problem arises when one person is doing all the giving and none of the taking. Dudes do that to chicks, chicks do it to dudes. Neither side is innocent, but thats where the communication comes in. You should be able to talk to your woman (or women should be able to talk to their man) about what's bothering you about them without being crucified. I don't mean be an asshole about it and yell, but just nicely bring it up, state your peace, listen to her side and try to work on it together.

You don't want to communicate like an adult and try to work things out? You want to act like a fucking baby and cry and whine until you get your way? Fuck you, thats not how things work in the real world. Until you stop living in Fantasy World you're never going to be happy and you're never going to be in a fulfilling relationship. You're going to keep getting with guys that treat you like shit. They're going to be jealous overbearing assholes and they're probably gonna cheat on you with the first skank they see. They might even be the ones that beat the shit out of you. So you know what you do? You get the fuck out of the relationship. You don't go crying back "But I loooove him!" That's dependency and desperation and simple fear that you can't do any better.

You know what? Guys aren't any fucking better really. They say they want a good girl that'll treat them right, but they equate good with "good looking," and that's retarded too. Most, but not all, good looking girls are dumb as shit. Once you get past the initial attraction and get your cock under control and start using your brain you realize that you have nothing in common. They're brains are in their tits like your's is in your wang and neither of you is thinking straight. This is why you don't pick up chicks in bars, unless youre looking for a good one night stand or a fucked up relationship.

You wanna pick up a chick that's decent? Go to a fucking library. Find one reading a book. Just one thats reading a book for pleasure. There's a good chance that you could have an actual conversation with her. You'd get to know her, and you know what you'd find out? That she's more stable and sane then some goofy bar slut.

You know what the even bigger revelation will be? That she's way more attractive to you than just her looks. She's got the total package.

To sum up: Chicks & dudes, guys & dolls, men & women, stop thinking with just your heart and emotions and start thinking with the brains that God gave you.

You fucking retards.

Azzy

Chicks & Dudes